Expert tells parents to ask baby’s consent when changing diapers

An Australian “sexuality educator” has created a heated debate among online users for suggesting that parents ask a baby for permission before changing their diapers.
Deanne Carson argues that a “culture of consent” needs to start at birth, sparking curiosity and confusion from the online community, with one netizen asking if it’s also necessary to get “consent from your cat to change its litter tray.”
In a world where parenting techniques are evolving faster than ever, the topic of consent is making its way into unexpected areas, including diaper changes.
Asking a baby for consent before a changing a dirty nappy might sound impractical, mostly because newborns and infants lack the verbal skills to reply.
But Deanne Carson argues that it’s less about receiving a formal answer and more about setting the foundation for consent and respectful boundaries as early as possible.
According to Carson – who describes herself as a “sexuality educator, speaker, and author” on Twitter – a culture of consent needs to start at birth.

Mother changing her baby’s diaper / Credit: Shutterstock
She explains the idea is to emphasize respect for the child’s body and autonomy. By narrating actions – like “I’m going to change your diaper now, is that okay?” – and pausing to read body language, parents can introduce infants to the concept of personal agency.
Building trust and communication
The self-proclaimed expert argues that this practice isn’t meant to wait for a verbal “yes” but to encourage a two-way communication path between parent and child.
“Of course, a baby is not going to respond, ‘yes mum, that is awesome, I’d love to have my nappy changed,” Carson said in an interview with Australia’s ABC network. “But if you leave a space and wait for body language and wait to make eye contact then you are letting that child know that their response matters.”
Pediatricians and early childhood experts often emphasize the value of responding to a baby’s non-verbal cues, like coos, giggles, or movements, as part of healthy communication. Incorporating consent into diaper changes aligns with this by making babies aware, on some level, of what is happening and involving them in the process.
‘Left lunacy’
But not everyone sees this approach as practical or necessary, and critics argue that infants are far too young to understand the concept of consent.
And John Rosemond – a psychologist, columnist and parenting expert – writes that Carson wins the title of “the Weird and Even Weirder for the Most Bizarre Idea of All Time.”
“Once upon a time, and not all that long ago, a person who proposed that parents should ask infants for consent to change their diapers would be regarded by everyone except herself as deranged,” Rosemond writes in the Reno Gazette Journal. “In this paradoxical fashion, Carson’s ‘culture of consent’ becomes instead a family culture of confusion, mistrust, denial and all-around dysfunction.”
Online, Carson’s remarks set off a firestorm of conversations, with many on social media mocking her ideas and criticizing her credentials.
“Pretty sure when a baby is crying due to the discomfort of a full diaper…that’s consent. In fact, I would go further and call it a demand,” writes one online user.
A second offers, “A self-proclaimed ‘expert’ wants parents to ask permission before changing their child’s diaper. This tells me she has no experience with kids whatsoever.”
A third netizen responded to a clip shared on X, saying: “Do you need to get consent from your cat to change its litter tray? No. If it stinks change it. Same with a baby. If it does wee or pooh just change it!!!” And another adds, “Leaving a child in a dirty nappy is legally recognised as child abuse. Does this nut job believe in child abuse? She is more dangerous than those advocating for no jabs.”
'Sexuality expert' says parents should ask for baby's consent when changing nappies.
Yes, really… pic.twitter.com/iR6wUfP87i
— Sunrise (@sunriseon7) May 10, 2018
Some people however jumped to her defence and said Carson’s intentions were good even if the example she used was not.
One netizen writes, “I’m seriously shocked at the negative response you got to this…babies [and] toddlers learn to communicate well before they can speak. Thank you for tolerating the trolls to create dialogue about this. Even if you’re wrong, what possible harm is there [in] showing respect?”
A second comments, “I think she wants to encourage a conversation about consent amongst kids but has made a mockery of it by taking it to the extreme. Babies can’t consent to anything. Ever. They’re babies! Their safety and survival needs are assumed.”
Another pens, “I agree with Deanne Carson. Easy to chat to your baby. Easy to create a climate of consent in your home.”
While the debate continues, people agree that there’s value in being mindful and communicative with infants, even if it’s not strictly about consent.
Ultimately, the choice to “ask” for consent may come down to individual parenting styles and comfort levels. For some, asking for consent is just one more way to cultivate a respectful, loving relationship with their infants; for others, it may be enough to simply engage, observe, and respond to their baby’s needs.
My Husband Thought Confessing His Affair Would Break Me. Instead, It Activated Every Plan I Had Quietly Prepared For Months. Ten Minutes Later, His Cards Were Frozen, His Company Access Was Gone, And The New Life He Had Been Building Started Falling Apart.

Part 1: The Morning My Husband Introduced Me to His “Real Life”
The morning my husband announced that he had finally discovered his true soulmate, I was wearing a cream silk robe he bought for me during a business trip to Napa Valley three years earlier, standing barefoot inside a kitchen that existed only because my work had paid for every inch of it.
Outside our Seattle home, rain rolled steadily down the enormous glass windows overlooking the backyard cedar trees while soft gray light spilled across the quartz countertops I personally selected after spending six months redesigning the entire first floor. The espresso machine hummed softly beside me, and the smell of dark roast coffee mixed with rosemary bread warming in the oven created the kind of domestic peace people photograph for holiday cards.
Then Daniel destroyed our marriage with the emotional depth of someone discussing quarterly taxes.
He sat across from me at the kitchen island with his fingers laced together carefully, wearing the navy cashmere sweater I purchased for his fortieth birthday. He looked polished, composed, and strangely rehearsed, like a man preparing to deliver a presentation he believed deserved admiration for its honesty.
“There’s something important I need to tell you,” he said calmly.
I poured cream into my coffee without responding immediately.
After twelve years of marriage, I knew Daniel’s tones better than I knew my own heartbeat. This particular voice belonged to moments when he had already made decisions privately and merely needed everyone else to accept the consequences gracefully afterward.
“I’ve met someone,” he continued. “Her name is Savannah. And before you react emotionally, I need you to understand something. This wasn’t planned. It just happened naturally.”
Naturally.
Men always seemed to use that word whenever selfishness needed romantic lighting.
I finally looked at him fully.
His expression carried relief beneath the tension, which somehow hurt more than guilt would have. Guilty men at least understand they are destroying something valuable. Relieved men have already convinced themselves the destruction is necessary.
“Savannah makes me feel understood,” he explained carefully. “She’s uncomplicated, Claire. Genuine. She doesn’t care about status, appearances, or money. She just sees me for who I really am.”
I took a slow sip of coffee.
It tasted bitter enough to wake every sleeping instinct inside my body.
What Daniel actually meant was simple enough to translate.
“Uncomplicated” meant she had never reviewed his credit card statements.
“Genuine” meant she still believed the polished version of him carefully curated for strangers.
And “doesn’t care about money” almost certainly meant she had no idea whose money he had been spending.
He waited for tears.
Or screaming.
Or questions about timelines and betrayal and whether he ever loved me properly.
Instead, I smiled softly.
“Thank you for telling me,” I replied evenly.
The relief that crossed his face instantly became the exact moment I emotionally stopped being his wife.
I stood, gathered both coffee mugs, and carried them toward the sink.
“Excuse me for one minute,” I said politely.
Then I walked into my office, closed the door quietly behind me, and changed the direction of Daniel’s entire future with a single phone call.
Part 2: The Company He Thought Was Ours
My assistant answered on the first ring.
Dana Brooks had worked beside me for almost nine years, which meant she recognized my silence as fluently as most people understood spoken language.
“Tell me what happened,” she said immediately.
I sat behind my walnut desk overlooking Lake Washington while rain slid slowly down the office windows.
“Daniel finally confessed,” I replied calmly. “I need you to initiate every contingency protocol we discussed in February.”
Dana did not gasp.
She did not ask whether I was alright.
She simply opened her laptop.
“Understood,” she answered. “Where would you like me to begin?”
I leaned back slowly in the leather chair I bought after Carter & Rowe Marketing crossed its first seven-figure year.
“Freeze all secondary company credit cards attached to Daniel’s name immediately. Remove his financial authorizations from every business account. Export six months of expense records into a secured legal file and send copies directly to Olivia Mercer.”
Olivia Mercer was my divorce attorney, a woman capable of making legal paperwork sound like artillery fire.
Dana typed rapidly.
“Done. What about payroll access?”
“Revoke everything.”
“Already disappearing as we speak.”
I closed my eyes briefly.
There is something deeply chilling about discovering how quietly competent women become after spending years preparing emotionally for disasters men assume will destroy them.
Daniel believed he had been moving invisibly through shadows.
What he never understood was that shadows help other people’s eyes adjust eventually.
“Also,” I added quietly, “do not stop paying Eleanor’s medical insurance yet.”
Daniel’s mother spent years insisting prenuptial agreements destroyed marriages while privately encouraging her son to maintain “financial flexibility.” She also knew about Savannah almost four months before Daniel confessed.
Dana hesitated briefly.
“You’re still covering her?”
I stared toward the rain outside.
“For now.”
After ending the call, I opened the secure folder already waiting on my desktop.
Recipes.
That was the title.
Inside existed nearly eight months of screenshots, expense reports, hotel confirmations, hidden transfers, AirTag location histories, restaurant reservations, and photographs documenting Daniel’s affair with the meticulous calmness of someone slowly preparing emotional armor.
I discovered the first clue the previous winter.
A restaurant charge from a luxury rooftop bar in downtown Chicago attached to our business account during a week Daniel claimed he was attending leadership seminars in Denver.
Then came the boutique hotel charges.
The spa receipts.
The apartment lease hidden beneath consulting reimbursements.
Eventually the pattern stopped resembling suspicion and became mathematics.
By the time Daniel sat inside our kitchen discussing “true love,” I already possessed enough documentation to dismantle every financial illusion he depended upon.
And the cruelest detail of all?
The house itself belonged entirely to me.
Not us.
Me.
My grandmother’s inheritance funded the down payment. My company revenue financed the mortgage. My signature appeared on every legal ownership document while Daniel spent years introducing himself casually as “basically co-owner” during dinner parties.
I returned to the kitchen ten minutes later.
Daniel still sat there, though anxiety had finally started creeping visibly across his face.
He expected devastation.
Not organization.
“Everything okay?” he asked cautiously.
I sat across from him again.
“Actually, yes.”
Something about my tone unsettled him immediately.
Good.
“Daniel,” I said softly, “I met with Olivia Mercer seven months ago.”
His expression froze.
I continued before he could speak.
“I have complete financial records regarding your personal use of company accounts. I have documentation for the Miami trips, the Aspen weekends, the apartment lease for Savannah, the jewelry purchases, the reimbursement fraud, and the offshore investment account you quietly opened in April.”
The color drained visibly from his face.
“Claire—”
“Your company cards stopped functioning approximately four minutes ago. Your business access has already been revoked. And Olivia will formally file on Monday morning.”
He stood abruptly.
“You can’t seriously do this.”
I looked around the kitchen slowly.
The imported light fixtures.
The heated flooring.
The custom cabinetry.
Everything my success built while Daniel played the role of visionary entrepreneur using my stability as a stage.
“Actually,” I replied calmly, “I can.”
Part 3: The Difference Between Generosity and Weakness
Daniel started pacing across the kitchen like movement alone might somehow restore control.
“This is insane,” he snapped. “You’re acting vindictive because I told you the truth.”
I folded my hands together carefully.
“No, Daniel. I’m acting informed because you lied repeatedly.”
“I never lied about loving you.”
That sentence almost made me laugh.
Not because it was ridiculous.
Because men like Daniel genuinely believe enjoying comfort counts as love.
“You used corporate accounts to finance another relationship,” I replied. “You discussed leaving me with your mother during Christmas dinner while sitting beside me pretending nothing had changed. You prepared escape plans using resources my work provided. And somehow you still expected gratitude for finally confessing?”
His jaw tightened instantly.
“You worked constantly, Claire. You cared more about the company than our marriage.”
There it was.
The inevitable attempt to transform betrayal into reaction.
I leaned forward slightly.
“Interesting argument considering you seemed perfectly comfortable spending the company’s money.”
He rubbed both hands across his face.
For the first time all morning, he looked frightened instead of confident.
“Savannah doesn’t know any of this.”
“I assumed as much.”
Because women like Savannah rarely fall in love with married men intentionally.
They fall in love with edited biographies.
Daniel swallowed hard.
“You’re trying to destroy my life.”
I studied him carefully then.
Twelve years together.
Twelve years of holidays, funerals, business launches, illnesses, vacations, fertility disappointments, quiet loneliness, and increasingly separate emotional worlds.
And somehow he still did not understand me at all.
“No,” I answered quietly. “I’m protecting the life I built while you confused my generosity for weakness.”
That sentence finally landed.
I watched realization move slowly across his face as he began understanding the scale of his miscalculation.
He thought he was leaving a wife emotionally dependent upon him.
Instead, he was leaving the woman who financed nearly every piece of his stability.
“Savannah is pregnant,” he blurted suddenly.
Interesting.
There it was.
The real timeline finally surfacing.
I nodded once.
“I know.”
His eyes widened instantly.
“How?”
I almost admired the audacity required for a man conducting an affair sophisticated enough to lease apartments secretly while remaining shocked that other people also possess observational abilities.
“Your mother told Dana after her second glass of wine in March,” I replied. “Apparently she believed guilt would encourage me toward generosity during the divorce.”
Daniel sat down heavily.
The silence afterward stretched long enough for rain to become the loudest sound inside the room.
Then quietly, almost desperately, he asked:
“Did you ever love me at all?”
That question hurt far more than I expected.
Because despite everything, the answer remained yes.
I loved him through startup failures, panic attacks, his father’s funeral, years of insecurity, and endless moments where loving him required making myself smaller emotionally so he could feel larger professionally.
But love offered continuously without reciprocity eventually becomes self-erasure.
“I think,” I said slowly, “that you loved being loved by me. And I think I confused taking care of you with being cherished properly in return.”
Daniel lowered his head.
For one suspended moment, I genuinely thought he might apologize sincerely.
Instead, he whispered:
“You’ve become cruel.”
That finally ended whatever remained between us emotionally.
I stood carefully.
“Cruel,” I repeated softly, “is building a second life using money your wife earned while quietly planning how to make her feel responsible for your unhappiness.”
Part 4: The House With Only One Key
The divorce lasted nine exhausting months.
Long enough for Daniel’s carefully constructed image to collapse gradually beneath forensic accounting reviews, legal disclosures, and business investigations revealing how extensively he blurred personal indulgence with corporate resources.
He received no ownership stake in Carter & Rowe.
No executive authority.
No access to future earnings.
Only a modest settlement reduced significantly after reimbursement fraud and unauthorized expenditures were calculated against marital assets.
Savannah left him before the divorce finalized.
Apparently discovering your soulmate secretly financed your relationship using someone else’s money damages romance considerably.
I sold the Seattle house the following November for nearly eight hundred thousand dollars above our original purchase price.
Then I bought a smaller penthouse overlooking Elliott Bay with floor-to-ceiling windows, warm white lighting, and a kitchen designed entirely around what made me feel peaceful instead of impressive.
Every lock belonged exclusively to me.
Every bill carried only my name.
Every room finally breathed honestly again.
Six months after the divorce finalized, Carter & Rowe expanded into San Francisco while my leadership interview appeared in Forbes beneath the headline:
The Woman Who Rebuilt Her Life by Refusing to Shrink.
Dana framed the article secretly and placed it inside my office.
I laughed so hard I nearly cried.
Then one rainy evening almost a year after Daniel confessed his “true love” across my marble kitchen island, I received an email from him unexpectedly.
Subject line: Congratulations.
Claire,
I saw the Forbes feature today. I know things ended badly between us, but I always believed you were extraordinary. I hope someday we can talk without lawyers and resentment between us. Despite everything, I never stopped caring about you.
I read it twice before forwarding it to Dana.
Her response arrived thirty seconds later.
Should I reply asking which outstanding invoice he would like to discuss?
I laughed until tears blurred my vision.
Not because the situation remained painful anymore.
Because for the first time in years, I realized Daniel no longer possessed the ability to define my emotional weather.
That winter, I hosted Christmas dinner inside my new apartment for Dana, Olivia, my sister Madeline, and several employees who no longer had family nearby.
After dinner, I stood alone briefly beside the enormous windows overlooking Seattle while snow drifted softly beyond the glass.
The city glowed silver beneath the storm.
And suddenly I understood something important.
The greatest loss in my marriage had never been Daniel himself.
It was how thoroughly I abandoned my own instincts trying to preserve someone else’s comfort.
Daniel thought he discovered true love.
Maybe he did.
But on the morning he sat inside the kitchen I financed explaining why another woman understood him better, I discovered something infinitely more valuable than romantic devotion.
I discovered the version of myself waiting patiently beneath years of compromise.
And unlike Daniel, I would never betray her again.
THE END